The purpose of this information is to make it easy for everyone to participate fully in the life of the Meeting, whether you have been attending for years or only weeks. It is meant to be not restrictive but rather inclusive and is always subject to change and improvement.
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Several Quakers began meeting in each other's homes in Reston in 1974. Space was rented in Brown's Chapel in Reston in 1976, and as the Meeting grew, we worshipped in different locations in Reston and Herndon. We became a Worship Group in 1979, a Preparative Monthly Meeting under the Care of Langley Monthly Meeting in 1981, and a Monthly Meeting of Baltimore Yearly Meeting in 1986.
The front part of the Meetinghouse building was built in 1926 by the Herndon Fortnightly Club and Library Association. The rear portion of the building was added in 1953. In 1972, the Fairfax County Library system took over the operation of the Herndon Fortnightly Library. When a new library was built in Herndon, the Fortnightly Club put the building up for sale. Herndon Friends Meeting purchased the building in 1995. After extensive remodeling, the first Meeting for Worship occurred in April 1996. The “Monthly Meeting” designation refers to a distinctive part of Quaker practice, the monthly Meeting for Worship with Attention to Business. In a spirit of worship, activities of the committees are reported and we seek new directions. We make decisions in unity through discernment rather than by voting.
People vary widely in how long it takes them to become official members of the Meeting. Some may know that this is their spiritual home within a year or two; others might attend for decades before making the leap. Attenders participate fully in the life of the Meeting; membership is required only of the Meeting Clerk, the Trustees, and members of the Ministry and Oversight committee.
One does not become a member of the Religious Society of Friends as a whole but rather of an individual Monthly Meeting. At Herndon Friends Meeting, the procedure is to write a letter to the clerk of Ministry and Oversight. A clearness committee will be appointed to meet with you. If the committee finds no obstruction, it brings the application first to Ministry and Oversight and then to the Monthly Meeting with a recommendation for acceptance. At times, the clearness process may show that delay in membership is the better course.
Some things to consider before applying: What is your religious background and convictions? How did they lead you to considering joining the Religious Society of Friends at this time? Are you familiar with the history of Friends? Are you aware of the larger structure of the Religious Society of Friends? Do you know about Yearly Meetings? Do you know that there are also Quaker Churches? Have you attended other Meetings for Worship? There is considerable religious diversity within the Religious Society of Friends, and even within the Herndon Friends Meeting. For example, many Friends do not believe that Jesus is God. Are you comfortable with this diversity? How familiar are you with the Herndon Friends Meeting? How long have you attended? Have you attended Meetings for Business? Are you comfortable about speaking during Meeting for Worship? Have you served on any committees? Have you discussed our proposed membership with others? Do your family and friends support you in this decision? Are you comfortable with the Friends testimonies on Peace, Simplicity, Equality, and Community? What are the pulls which make you want to join HFM? Do you have any reservations about joining the Herndon Meeting or about thinking of yourself as a Quaker? What do you feel are the obligations of membership? Are you ready to assume these responsibilities? Are you currently a member of some other Quaker Meeting or spiritual community? If so, should there be some official paperwork exchanged with this other group?
Clearness committees are formed when an individual, family, or other group seeks guidance when making an important decision. When an attender is considering joining the Herndon Friends Meeting or when a couple wishes to be married under the care of the Meeting, the Ministry and Oversight Committee assumes the responsibility for setting up a clearness committee. To give direction to the discussion, specific queries or topics may be presented by the clearness committee or by the individual seeking membership or the couple requesting marriage. It is important that those participating in the clearness process approach the meeting with open hearts and minds, that sufficient time be allotted for thorough understanding and seasoning to occur, and that any encumbrance be explored to be sure that there are no conflicting obligations.
A clearness committee can also be requested by a member or attender. Situations in which clearness is sought includes such matters as conflicts, separation, divorce, career decisions, moving, and other personal decisions. The committee and the individual or group meets together in worship to seek God’s guidance. Valuable insights often result from worship-discussions in one or more sessions. Requests for a clearness committee should go to the Clerk of the Meeting or to the Clerk of Ministry and Oversight.
The library materials are available to anyone to borrow. Please return them in a reasonable amount of time. Appropriate donations are welcomed where shelf space allows.
The collection includes:
Meeting for Worship is the heart of the life of the Religious Society of Friends. It calls for us to offer ourselves, body, mind, and soul for the doing of God’s will. We recognize the value of silence, not as an end, but as a means toward communication with God and fellowship with one another. In this living silence (or waiting worship) we feel drawn together by the Light and the power of God in our midst.
Try to arrive with an open and expectant spirit. During the Meeting for Worship anyone may feel moved to speak and this should be done clearly and simply. For the sake of those who hear less well, speak loudly so that all may share in your message.
Children are invited to join you in Meeting for Worship. We recognize that our young people are the future of the Meeting and we value their presence. The inevitable noises that children make are quite acceptable during the first fifteen minutes of Meeting. First Day activities for infants through high school seniors usually are offered fifteen minutes after the start of Meeting for Worship.
While we do not have any hard and fast rules, there are understood guidelines. These include the following.
o Try to arrive a few minutes early. If you are late and the door is shut, minimize interruptions by waiting to enter until people leave for First Day School. Shut the door tightly behind you to keep out the noises from the First Day School.
o Turn off your cell phone and do not bring anything into Meeting for Worship (other than children) which could distract you or disturb others. Consider that turning the pages of a book might distract your neighbors and give the impression that you are not completely present in the Meeting.
o Do not arrive with a prepared topic to present. Instead, think of yourself as an empty vessel, ready to receive messages from God or to share your spiritual insights if you feel called upon.
o Speak when you feel strongly moved to do so, but please question your calling if you feel moved to speak almost every week. Learn to discern whether a message you receive is intended just for you or meant be shared. Try to keep your message under five minutes and speak only once at a Meeting.
o Allow a few minutes after another has spoken to give everyone (including yourself) time to ponder.
o Although occasionally a theme may develop, messages are not delivered as a response to previous messages. Meeting for Worship is not a discussion, argument or debate.
o Meeting for Worship is ended when it is sensed that those present have been spiritually refreshed (usually after an hour). The clerk then shakes the hand of a fellow worshipper.
We welcome you to participate fully in all aspects of Meeting for Worship. No experience is necessary!
The Ministry and Oversight Committee (M&O) is charged with building and maintaining a spiritual community and with tending to the spiritual well-being of the Meeting’s individual members. Specific contributions include the following:
• Overseeing the quality of Meeting for Worship
• Helping members and attenders better understand Friend’s principles and practices
• Being acquainted with all members and regular attenders, and being aware of needs for encouragement and support
• Welcoming newcomers and visitors to Meeting
• Arranging clearness committees for those considering marriage or membership; considering requests for withdrawals
• Arranging clearness or support committees for those facing difficult decisions or personal problems
• Assisting with arrangements in times of serious illness or death
• Arranging for marriage and memorial services
• Planning retreats and adult discussions
• Considering requests for travel minutes
• Managing the Family Assistance and Scholarship funds
• Drafting the annual State of the Meeting report
• Working with the Youth Policy and clearing individuals to work with young people
Committee membership is for two years and is restricted to members of the Meeting. Committee meetings are generally held in closed session.
Volunteers are always needed to help teach First Day School, babysit and supervise field trips and social events. Working with our children is an opportunity that showers blessing on adults and students alike. It is also a responsibility that should be shared by all and not fall solely on the shoulders of parents and First Day School teachers.
For the safety of our children, only adults who have attended Herndon Friends Meeting regularly for at least six months and who have been approved by the Youth Safety committee may be in sole charge of youth activities. Please fill out a form and give it to Priscilla Chamlee or Margaret Fisher if you would like to be “cleared.” See the complete policy for details.
Herndon Friends Meeting Minute on Protecting Youth from Physical, Verbal, and Sexual Abuse
8 January 2006, revised 30 March 2009
Herndon Friends Meeting (HFM) recognizes its responsibility in assisting parents in protecting children from physical and sexual abuse. The Meeting, which has no paid staff, has established the following procedures to minimize the risk of children being harmed in the course of Meeting connected activities.
Definitions
• “Candidate” refers to an individual expressing interest in serving in an unpaid leadership position in a youth activity sponsored by HFM.
• “Screening”: Process by HFM to verify that a candidate has regularly attended HFM for at least six months plus checking the public VA Sex Offender and Crimes Against Minors Registration for Violent Sex Offenders website against the person’s name and address.
• Youth activity: Any activity primarily aimed for youth participation, such as First Day school, a field trip, a social activity (onsite or offsite), service project, etc.
Procedures for Working with Youth
1. All volunteers must have been cleared for working with youthwithin the past twelve months by the HFM M&O committee before leading any youth activities.
2. There will be at least two adults present in the community room during any youth activity.
3. At least two adults will be at any offsite location for any youth activities held there. At least two adults must accompany the children from the HFM Meetinghouse to an offsite location for any activity.
4. Field trips or day trips sponsored by the Religious Education Committee or the Meeting will require supervision by adults, with a ratio of at least one adult to six children. There will be a minimum of two adults on any field trip.
5. Any overnight field trip attended by both male and female youth should have adult supervision by both male and female cleared adults.
6. Any vehicle used for transportation associated with HFM youth activities must be operated by a cleared adult.
7. All adult visitors (except for parents or volunteers) wishing to attend a First Day School class need to coordinate in advance with the class teacher or coordinator.
8. HFM does not sponsor any regular or extended one-on-one counseling for youth. Any counseling done with youth (such as a clearness committee) will include at least two adults.
Procedures for Clearing Candidates to Work with Youth:
Anyone interested in volunteering with youth needs to be screened and cleared by the Ministry and Oversight (M&O) committee before they can lead a youth activity. This includes, but is not limited, to the following:
• First Day school teachers
• Primary adult for an HFM-sponsored youth activity (such as game night, service project, or field trip) or any activity primarily aimed at youth participation, or primary adult in a supervisory role (such as child care or escorting children to another location)
The responsibilities of the M&O committee in clearing candidates includes the following:
1. Screening: For candidates to lead a youth activity, confirm that the candidate has regularly attended HFM for at least six months, verify their identity and address with a government-issued photo identification, and verify that the candidate is not listed in the public VA Sex Offender and Crimes Against Minors Registration for Violent Sex Offenders website.
2. Notify the HFM Business Meeting that the candidate has been cleared to lead youth activities. M&O will also maintain a list of people who have been cleared to lead youth activities and will provide this list, and any updates, to all HFM committee clerks.
3. Confirm, on a yearly basis, that cleared volunteers are interested in renewing their cleared status and if so, that they continue to meet HFM criteria for working with youth.
Individuals known by the M&O committee to have charges pending or have been convicted of sexual crimes will not be permitted to lead a youth activity. If M&O determines that a candidate for working with youth does not meet HFM criteria or if there are other concerns, M&O will not clear the candidate for working with youth. In addition, M&O will appoint a clearness committee to consult privately with the candidate and discern whether there are ways that the Meeting can help support the candidate. M&O will also provide guidance to the candidate on participating in HFM and the Religious Society of Friends.
Response to Concerns or Incidents
Anyone who has a youth safety concern about an individual should share that concern with the Meeting clerk or the clerk of M&O. If a concern is raised, M&O will investigate and will contact the individual, if necessary.
Anyone who observes an incident of youth sexualphysical, verbal, or physical sexual abuse during an HFM-sponsored activity or who has knowledge that such an incident has occurred should do the following:
• Take immediate action to protect the child
• Contact M&O to report the alleged abuse. M&O will notify the child’s parents or guardians of the reported abuse. M&O will investigate and determine if additional actions are needed, such as counseling, notifying the HFM insurance representative, contacting child protective services, or legal action. M&O will discuss the incident and the proposed response from HFM with the child’s parents or guardians.
Regular Review of Procedures and Education
HFM currently has no paid staff. If we hire employees or change venues we will revisit these procedures. In any case we will reevaluate our procedures every three years at a minimum. To maintain awareness of our procedures, HFM will post this minute in a visible place at the Meetinghouse. In addition, the clerk of Religious Education will distribute copies of this minute yearly to:
a, Parents of children registered in the HFM religious education program
b, HFM committee clerks and the clerk of HFM
c, Adults serving in a leadership position in activities dealing with youth, including (but not limited to) all First Day School teachers and class coordinators.
HFM will also conduct activities with adults and children to raise awareness of issues related to protecting youth from physical, verbal, and sexual abuse.
Addition adopted on 11/8/09
• Teens of high school age and older may supervise activities of younger children in the Meeting House (such as sandwich making and child care for Adult Discussion) when cleared adults are present in the other room of the Meeting House.
• Cleared adults aged 22 and older may drive children and youth and may supervise activities on-site or off-site, but not overnight.
• Overnight activities require at least one cleared adult age 25 or older.
At overnight events attended by children of both genders, there will be at least one male and one female cleared adult